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Day one has been fine so far

A little jittery, kind of debating if this was a good idea or not, wondering why so many people seem to care.

For some reason my last post is now the most popular page of all time on this site.  Out of the 150 or so page views it's had exactly 3 people chose to take the time to register for the site so that they could read it.  I have no idea why a post that nobody wants to read would be so popular.  The only thing I can think of is people like seeing me fail at things and this is something else the voyeurs in Minneapolis can watch.  Too bad that I plan on posting most of my content about this only for my friends and family, which seems to be a very few people these days. 

This post is no different, most of the content is for people in the friends and family groups only.  If you log in you can see it, if not you'll never get to see it.

It does show me that a lot of what I'm feeling is valid, that I don't have anyone in Minneapolis that actually cares about me, there are just a lot of people that know way too much about me from what I've posted on the internet.  But it's not a two way street, there is virtually nobody that shares any kind of intimate information with me, nobody that calls me up out of the blue to hang out, nobody that considers me suitable as a lover.  It's very lonely.

And even though I got some news today that means my plan may not work out like I wanted it to it doesn't change the underlying cause as to why I need the money.  So I'm still going to be saving up for my goal, it should take me about 8 months to be where I want to be.  Maybe I can do it sooner if I cut down on some other stuff, start only eating burritos or something like that to save lots of money on food. 

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