Actually started riding again


 With how seldom I've actually been doing the commute in the last month that's kind of notable. I rode both ways yesterday and rode home from work today instead of taking the bus.  I took the bus into work but that was because I needed to run by the ATM on the way into work to get money to pay for girl scout cookies.

I don't know why I really haven't felt like riding in to work, it's just been so much easier to ride to the bus stop and get on the bus with my bike in the mornings.  I'm always dragging in the morning, I don't know why.  I wait until the last possible minute to give up the comfort of the bed and actually get ready to go to work.  I could easily get up an hour earlier and cook a breakfast and ride in on a full stomach and probably enjoy the ride a whole lot more but I never do.  I always just lie there in bed not wanting to get up or do anything until the last minute to get out the door and to the bus.

I'm hoping to change that but I'm not sure how successful I will be.  It's been bugging me for awhile, something I know that I must do but I simply can't force myself to actually break down and do it.  For all my overcoming addiction I still haven't really learned much in the way of self control, I spend most of my time in really low stress low risk environments that don't require me to have any real control.  Each day I have a set number of tasks to do but I don't have to do them at a particular time all that often, everything is flexible.  My free time is even more flexible, I have tons of projects and things that I want to do but I find myself very seldomly actually doing what I want to be doing, mostly I'm just sitting around and doing pretty much nothing.

So the plan is to see if I can sit down and start planning out my next few weeks out in extreme detail, putting pretty much everything down and not leaving any room to deviate from it.  I'm a little terrified of doing it just because it will show me how much empty space there is that needs to be filled.  And then there's figuring out what to fill it with, there's so much that I like to do but so little of it actually makes me feel fulfilled.  I like to draw and play guitar but all I see or hear whenever I do that now are all the mistakes that I'm making, if I can't do something well I tend to not really do it.  But I'm trying to have actual things that I do rather than just sitting around and working or watching media.  So what will come out of me trying to force myself to be creative and to do interesting things when it's on a calendar and it's something I have to do because it's on the calendar.  Would I be able to adhere to that?  Will there be more blog posts when an hour or two is dedicated to it?

I guess the bigger question is will I even be able to actually schedule anything? I feel such a mental block towards having structure that it feels like it's very foriegn.  But I know I need to do it, so I probably will.  I feel like I kind of need to at least try since I've now blogged about it. 

Other than that things have been pretty mellow.  Work has been slow because we're kind of inbetween jobs that I can do.  There's work to do but all of it is beyond my knowledge and skill set so it's going to the other programmers.  I feel a little bad about that but there's not much that I can do about it.  I'm pretty good at what I do which is taking a photoshop file and turning it into a concrete 5 website with a few custom options but beyond that I'm really not that great of a programmer.  Today I spent most of my day working on the Occupy website because there wasn't much else to do.  I got a lot done but ran into a couple things that I couldn't do because I didn't know how.  I think the discussion forum is not functioning right because the discussion page doesn't list off any topics.  You can add a topics list to another page and say 'list topics under discussion page x' and that block will list off the topics but you don't see any topics on the actual discussion page.  This really doesn't work because you can only post new topics from the discussion page and that page is blank.  I filed a support ticket on that.

Then there's the other  problem of the fact that the calendar doesn't initialize in a hidden tabbed panel.  I also filed a support ticket on that and I think that ScottC got me a workaround that will enable me to show the calendar.  I'm going to have to do a manual tab setup instead of using a tab library like I am now but I think that it will work.  I need to figure out how to destroy the calendar when the tab closes or at least make sure that the function only runs once.  I think I can figure out everything I need to do, my jQuery isn't the best  but I should be able to do it.  I have been reading a book called "jQuery Cookbook" that's been giving me some good insights on doing stuff like this, I think I'm going to try the code from them for the tab panel.

Hopefully it works, I really want to show the blog posts as the main thing that you see on the Neighborhood pages for the Occupy page and for the Locations page on the Grease Rag website.