I guess I've been disconnected


I haven't really been in the mood to blog much I guess.  Too much going on, no need to really document it.  Here's what's been going on.

I guess that's not really true.  I probably should have documented some of it.  But I didn't.  I started seeing someone for awhile and that sent me running from anything related to blogging - I don't want to be posting up about the doubts that I was having and have her find out about it.  I don't know maybe that would have been better, when she found out I was having doubts and really looking for a much different kind of relationship it was over.  I wanted to see if it was possible to have a short term relationship but didn't think that I could commit to more than that, the conversation never even got that far.  It was probably doomed from the start, I'm not looking for a monogamous relationship and she was.  I probably should have said something sooner but I didn't and it hurt her and that sucks.  I was already feeling pretty bleak about my prospects when she contacted me and I just jumped at the idea of anyone liking me so much that I wanted to try to find some way to make it work. 

I feellike it's a positive thing that someone did like me and find me attractive and desirable, that I was someone that someone else would actually want to be around. I didn't come up with stupid ideas for dates, I didn't say dumb things, I didn't do any of the things I always worry about when meeting someone new.  But I'm also saddened at the way it ended and the realisation that it brings that what I need isn't just anyone but someone really special, and I have no idea how to meet someone that actually wants the same things I do.  I updated my OK Cupid profile to make up for it and hopefully keep something like this from happening again. 

Since then I've been even more of a hermit than usual.  I don't normally get out that much anyway but the last few weeks have been pretty bad.  They're doing construction out at work so I was working from home all week.  There will be nice new offices and a bunch of furniture to move when I get into the office next Monday.  Since I've been working from home I haven't had a reason to go out for hardly anything.  I made it out to the Occupy NDP meeting but I think that was really it for this week.  I went to see Bicycle Dreams at the Riverview but didn't run into anyone I knew to sit with and hang out so I just went straight home after.  I've been going to bed early and sleeping late just because there's not enough stuff to do every day.

I have work to do of course, I have a design from a designer over in the Netherlands that I need to finish slicing up but I've had a really hard time actually forcing myself to work after I put in the 8 hours for my day job.  I've been a little better about that and did get some work done on it and some done on the site for the Occupy NDP project.  So stuff is starting to come together, I think this weekend I will get a lot more done.  Last weekend I pretty much just worked all weekend.  I made it out to Icarus for group which was good, I'd missed out the last three weeks before that.  I had a wedding for a long time friend one weekend, then I was just in the middle of cooking a late lunch and lost track of time and missed the start and then the next weekend was Stuporbowl.  I didn't do well in Stuporbowl at all, I made it to all the stops but didn't get back in time to turn in the manifest so I DNFed it.  I'm just too slow.  It was nice to get out on the road bike again that day.  That was actually also the same day that the girl I was seeing broke up with me.  Guess it was kind of silly to bring her out to a bike event and introduce her to people when things were that shaky.  Oops.  I guess I learned a bit there too.

I think this weekend is going to be a lot more working just like last weekend.  There's not a lot going on this weekend that I really feel that comfortable going to.  There's a re-imagining thing for the Minneapolis Occupy movement that I might go to on Sunday to see what's going on.  There was a block party tonight that they're putting on but I'm not really up for a big party with tons of people and live music tonight. 

When I was working out in the office the last several weeks I've been taking the bus into work a lot more often lately.  I've taken to reading books on my phone on the way in.  I really like having my commute turn into something actually productive.  I read Ecotopia which was a nice diversion.  I really wanted to live in the society the described.  I'm not sure what I'm going to read next, I got a lot of recommendations from people awhile back on facebook but haven't downloaded anything yet because I haven't had a commute.  I guess that's one of the projects for this weekend - scrolling back through my timeline looking for that thread.  I really wish it was easier to permalink things on facebook.  At any rate I've gotten a lot better at catching the bus - I figured out how to get the time correct on my phone which made catching the bus a lot easier.

That's all that has really been going on around here.  So really not a lot to document.  I haven't come up with any great new code to share with the world or any new products for the marketplace.  I have gotten a lot more stuff done on the Attributes Slider.  We're using it on four or five sites.  There was a problem with the display and function of the move image buttons on the image row include, those have been fixed now.  I need to go through and fix them a little better before releasing to the marketplace but everything is working now.  I actually hadn't tried to re-order anything, I just assumed it worked.  This is the stuff you find out in testing as you modify existing code to work with new code.  We're actually using it on our new portfolio too, I updated our existing website to use concrete 5 now and we redid the portfolio and home page to use sliders and have a lot more content.  I actually brought a lot of the code that we needed directly from a new layout we had just done for our concrete 5 ecommerce website.  They wanted to go from a carousel of products on the bottom of each page to a grid.  I'm using the same code that we use to display a grid of product pages on that website to display a grid of portfolio images at the bottom of each portfolio page letting you jump to any other portfolio page in one click.  It's pretty nice.  As is we just have a table with one image and a description, link and a link to the designer for each item so it's a big improvement.  Hopefully everything will be done and the content will be populated and the site will go live and I can link it up for people. It's actually my first try at a 5.5.1 theme as well, I'm trying to learn how everything functions in the new system.  We have one more site that I've done since then but so far not a lot of sites with the new core.  We're still figuring out everything - the pretty_url.php hack for .htaccess is something that apparently doesn't work any more, global areas don't work on the page_not_found page, stuff like that. 

We went live with Hickory Lake Campground - this is the one that I posted about the tricky nav a few months back.  It's finally live but they moved hosting to another provider and we're having some issues with the .htaccess file here as well.  It has a custom 'Stacking Slideshow' that we're thinking of putting into the marketplace.  I might actually do something with the other gallery plugin on the site - they have a single thumbnail image with a lightbox that opens up a full gallery with several images that you can navigate through.  I think for the marketplace I might want to do a more involved lightbox plugin, maybe one that supported captions and titles and use the code from Attributes Slider with a new view and different javascript to make a really neat gallery add on.

So that's pretty much it for what's going on in my life.  Finished watching Sons of Anarchy and moved on the Sleeper Cell and Justified.  I enjoyed all of them but they didn't really jump out as worthy of a review or anything.  I've thought about doing some way to track media that I watch and log my feelings on it but haven't gotten around to it.  Watching my beard grow, it's pretty overdue for a trim.  I'm not sure if I will trim it or not, I might just let it grow out for awhile and see what it does.  So far it's just getting really scruffy.  I've learned the secret to an amazing macaroni and cheese is some Cowgirl Creamery Red Hawk mixed in with the cheddar and cream cheese. 

I'm saving up money for a new computer so that I can work from home better, one of my main barriers to working from home now is not having a powerful enough computer to run Windows and Netbeans AND Firefox all at the same time.  I can run two out of the three but not all three at the same time.  I have learned that I can run Netbeans from under windows but it's not ideal.  I can't connect to the debugger from windows for one, that's a big drawback.  It's also really slow to access the hard drive.  I get this with Netbeans a lot, both under windows and linux.  Maybe it's just my hard drives or my motherboard and my bios accessing the drives, I don't know, but it takes forever every time that I boot up Netbeans to scan my projects.  Like 20-30 minutes to scan everything and eating up huge amounts of cpu cycles to do the scan making all the other functions of the IDE not really work all that well.  After it's launched and active everything is fine, except that sometimes Netbeans will disappear from my taskbar buttons while it's still launched, you can't click on the taskbar to get back to the application after switching to another app.

So yeah, I really need to upgrade my home setup.  I'm not really sure what I need to be looking for - at least four cores and 16 gb of ram, I might even want to go with more ram.  I have 16 at work and it does most of what I want it to but I feel like my home computer takes more of a beating.  Probably because I'm always running torrent software while everything else is running too.  So that's the project over the next month - figure out exactly what I can afford for a new mother board, ram, and processor.  I might do a new case too, my current one is pretty beat up and doesn't have a front face anymore.  I felt like the most ghetto person there at the Overnight Web Challenge last year. 

I'll try to be better about actually blogging but with so little going on it really doesn't seem worth it.  All I'm really doing is working, then stopping for a couple hours then working again.  I can't wait for it to get nice out again so there's an excuse to get outside of the house and see people.  I don't feel like I really know anyone well enough to contact them to just hang out so I haven't seen any of my friends lately.  I just don't have a reason to see anyone I guess, so I get stuck with weeks like the last two where I barely leave the house and I don't see anyone.  I feel like I could probably disappear from the city for months at a time and nobody would notice as long as I kept a stream of facebook posts going.  Makes me wonder what I'm really doing with myself, have I actually come any closer to being a well rounded person?  I used to not see anyone because I was such a worthless drunk, now I don't even know why I'm not going out or doing anything.  I'm just watching the days slip by wondering at the point of it all.  It doesn't seem like there's much of a point to any of it.  Hard to feel enthused about life when the only thing to be concerned with on any given day is what to eat.  What to watch.  It's not much of a life that I'm living right now, and I'm not sure how to really change that.